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Jul. 16th, 2010

(no subject)

Still having tummy and roomie issues. Though the latter are improving because I don't think Mackenzie wants to loose our friendship after we stop living together. I do like her and she is a good person it's just hard for me to remember that when she acts 12. 
I went to the doctor at Candace's nagging and consistant request ("Cathleen-- You DON'T need any excuses not to eat! Just go see if they can help.") , and they ran blood, tests and made me pee in cup.... so we'll see how that goes.
I've been a few dates with a very nice boy. He was in one of my classes actually sent me a message on Facebook saying that I was good looking and he wanted to know me better. I figured it was a drunken thing , but stuff like that doesn't happen to me so I sent him my number anyway. He was intoxicated when he sent it , but wanted to go out , so we did, and we have been talking ever sense.

Jun. 30th, 2010

(no subject)

I can't sleep because my roomie likes the air on at night and it's postively freezing in here. If the poor girl wasn't having such a rough time tonight, I totally would turn the air down but she has to have something good today so I'll just be a popsicle. Oy, I should ask to barrow her space heater.  
This weekend  has fabulous, I saw my cousins and sister. So much exciting news for the family , recently. Mary is going to be wed to Jason on April 30, 2011.  She is definitely a challenging personality but Jason is a wonderful guy who brings out all the good in her. I'm glad for them and I love adding boys to our group. Hopefully soon one of them will be mine.  
Mags loves, loves, her job and I think she loves Madison even more. I know my sister very well, I thought it'd be a huge, difficult adjustment for her, but she seemed so tranquil! I really think she was absolutely ready to move on. I'm so proud of her. I don't understand exactly what she does because she's not the best at explaining it but , of course, she's already making herself invaluable.  
The happiest news is that Mary's older sister Katie is PREGNANT!! She and her Jason have been trying unsuccessfully for about year a half and were feeling very discouraged when they got the fantastic news. She is due in February , way to soon to really be spreading the news on Facebook and stuff but we're all elated!!! Thinking pink thoughts because Kate says that because our whole family is female she wouldn't know how to raise little men. Haha. Lots of laughing, sunning drinking and singing this weekend and I miss 'em already!

Summer I classes are done (YAY) and I'm heading to Romeo from Friday - Tuesday to celebrate the fourth. For one of the first times ever-- I'm getting kind of homesick , I really miss my mama. We haven't been able to get eachother on the phone for about 5 days. Speaking of mom, She retired this year after 35 years of being a beloved teacher.  Summer II classes begin  a week from Wednesday.  I'm hoping you'll be a weekend between that one and september and I can take the bus to see your house, Melissa!!

Jun. 17th, 2010

Writer's Block: Family Is…

What does family mean to you?

Family to me are the group or groups of people who love you without condition ... Blood or not, they aren't leaving.

May. 4th, 2010

Mostly Sunny

Candace called me today, and we both cried, a lot. Well through the whole phone call we were cracking up, but then at end when she said “I’ll see you next week”. and we realized she wouldn’t, we cried. I’m a sap, so it surprised neither of when my tears fell, but my Cander never cries. She and I both do a lot for one another and so I think it kind of scares us to be apart. Candy never keeps score, and she genuinely likes to help.   You don’t come by friends like her too often.  It’s sad but, she will always be my best friend, I trust that.  I miss her so much already.

Some good things are happening though. My bought me a DVD so I can do yoga from my chair. (It’s called “Take 5 Yoga” I’m going to try it today.  I also am going to buy some free weights. I had some freshmen year, but ever since we moved my stuff out of the dorm I don’t know where they are. I think this will be good, I feel better in shape: everyone does. I may get a summer job at Wright & Filplipis as a receptionist for the summer, not a dream, but money is money right now. And the really good thing, I saved for last. I took a child abuse class this semester in which we had to read cases of abuse and use the laws we studied to write recommendation of intervention. My professor thought I did this very well, and had me set up a meeting with the head of DHS (who essentially is also the big cohune at CPS). He told me that, one new type of intervention that the state is working on seemed like something I may want to get involved in. Children with (particularly cognitive) disabilities are way more likely to be abused, so the state of MI and five other states are looking for people to teach abusive parents how to handle disabled kids…. It doesn’t pay much at all but there are awesome benefits, and beyond that it is something I would LOVE doing. If you study it is clear that this is a needed tool, and will keep a lot of families from being separated.  I would be able to pick the county in Michigan that I want to work in, and after a year would have the option of moving to Oregon, South Carolina, California or Illinois.  I just have to get a degree first.

Apr. 25th, 2010

Writer's Block: Turn and face the strain

What is the biggest major life change you've made in the past five years? Do you think it was positive, negative, or neutral?

I've tried, almost 100% successfully to be honest with others--> This is positive.

I've tried only slightly less successfully to be honest with myself about why I was afraid to be honest with others---> This is positive,

I have medication---> Also positive

 I've gained weight, sleep more and try not to torture myself for eating. I'm trying very hard to think of all of that as positive.

I have no idea what I want to do anymore. This probably bad, but hey the more I learn the more I like. This actually scares me a little.

I have a real best friend and a lot of great otherr friends too. That makes me smile.

Actually that was all in 2009. Big year.


Apr. 22nd, 2010

This is who I am to Candy :)

just a u of m fan dying in the next rm from respiratory failure...who is obessed with gilmore girls and remember the titans, cant flip grill cheese with out burning it, is BRILLIANT at writing papers and being an EXTRAORDINARY AMAZING...friend and listener, has a mad heart for the beatles and five min hugs, a raging liberal with 90% irish blood.. you who gives out mad camels to brighten ppls days...alll i can say is mmmmm space....and reeses peanut butter cups...:) ♥

Apr. 19th, 2010

(no subject)

My roommate , Jenna  asked me to pick poem and to read it at her wedding.

I have thought about this (a piece of a John Keats poem):

  Do not threat me even in jest.
I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it -
I shudder no more -
I could be martyr'd for my Religion -
Love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. 

 I love it and  read at mine but they are religous....... so I'm thinking no?

this is Shakespeare:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

That's beautiful.

This is an Apache wedding blessings I think is adorable:

Now we will feel no rain, for each of us will be shelter to the other.
Now we will feel no cold, for each of us will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness.
We are two bodies but there is one life before us, and one home.
When evening falls I will look up and there you'll be.
I'll take your hand and you'll take mine and we'll turn together to look
at the road we travelled to reach this -- the hour of our happiness.
It stretches behind us as the future lies ahead, a long and winding road
whose every turning means discovery, old hopes, new laughter, and shared tears.
The adventure has just begun.

I COULD write one but I don't want to the reading to be about me.. .......... Do you have sugestions??

Apr. 17th, 2010

(no subject)

I just want to the time to reflect on how lucky I am to have the people in my life that I have. People like Danielle who I cannot see or hear from for a solid two months, even though we live a mile from each other and have zero hurt feelings on either end. We pick up right where we left off and spend the night laughing like crazy and sharing silly secrets like ten year olds at a sleepover. I think it must be all the time we spent together in the dorm. There are no insecurities in our friendship; we mean exactly the same thing to each other.

Mackenzie drives me batty fairly often, if I’m being honest. We definitely have different life philosophies, and sometimes, as roomies that is exhausting. However, she is the most welcoming, friendly person I’ve EVER met, and has a very big heart. I really need to give her more credit. Most of the time, we are more than able to have a good time together, and she is still one of my best friends.

Chris is, without a doubt the funniest guy, maybe the funniest person I know. Sometimes I think a higher-power tells him to call or text when I need a laugh because it never ever fails. He ALWAYS does.

Melissa—I know you are probably the only person in the world reading this and I want you to know how thankful I am to know and see that you still care about me. You’re very strong and I love you.


Corey is a friend that I have recently gotten closer to; he has been in at least one of my classes since spring semester freshman year and we just starting hanging out outside of class. He and I have a lot of the same questions about the world and have incredibly interesting and lengthy conversations.  He also makes a hell of a drink.

Candace is my best friend.  I have hard time going more than week with a half hour conversation with her. She is everything I am not (unapologetic, quiet, and comparably less worried about what others think) and I love it. We have the same sense of humor though, and laugh until we cry a lot.  I trust her completely not to judge me. All of her family is great, too. They have accepted me as part of their “circle” along with her very close friends from High school and I have such fun with all of them.

And then there’s Annie, not much to say about her, except that she’s so kind and so non-judgmental that it’s insane!  She knows how to let her hair down too. Plus, her boy, Sam, restores my faith in men. He is so good to her. He is everything a boyfriend should be and he doesn’t even know it.



I’m writing this down because important for me to be able to go back and read it when I feel lonely. There is no reason for those feelings. Look at all the fabulous friends I have!!

Mar. 23rd, 2010

Writer's Block: Countdown

If a catastrophe struck and you had to leave your home in a hurry (and never return), what items would you grab in your last ten minutes, and why?

1. Russy-- Because he goes with me always.
2. My phone--- I would need to get a hold of people and tell them catstrophe struck!
3. Money, if I had any-- Just in case.....
4. A blanket.

Jan. 4th, 2010

Writer's Block: Reflections

What are your fondest memories of 2009? What were the low points? All told, what were the most significant events of 2009? Do you wish you could do it all over again?

Let's Get the bad out of the way first:

1. I lost people because of my own (self-)destructive behavior, good people , people I should not have hurt and people I wish I still had.

2. I spilled boiling water on my legs...... OWWW! I was very dependent on my parents and friends for a little over a month. This also wasn't good for my GPA.

3. I found out that a lot of the problems that had been happening in my parents marriage , happened because my dad was drinking too much. I felt very naive, because looking back it was pretty obvious.

4. I spent TOO MUCH money!!

The Good:

1. I got help, a lot of help and I'm still getting help.

2. My dad got help, and while he still drinks, he is getting better at talking to my mom and hasn't been drunk in a month and a half (:.

3. I made peace with the lack of a boyfriend in my life. At least I did for now.

4. I had an AMAZING 21st birthday!

5. I'm learning about the money stuff... and my father stopped being pissed at me for over drafting.

6. I have become even closer with my friends at western and can say with confidence I have at least 5 friends I'll never loose. This is the thing this year I'm most thankful for.
7. I'm lucky enough to be talking with Melissa again, and couldn't be happier about that.


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